For many in the church to openly admit to being depressed is seen not only as a major sign of personal weakness, but it is seen as a sign that one is not as spiritually rooted in Christ, connected to His Favor, living on His promises and anointed by the Holy Ghost as they should be. One's faith is called into question, along with in some cases, their salvation. Somehow in the minds of some, they are missing the spiritual mark. Some sin must be present in their life to bring them to this point. Depression is claimed by others to only be a spirit that must be bound and cast out and once that is done, there will be no evidence of it ever being present in the first place. This battle is fought on many planes, not just the spiritual one.
Another issue is to be honest not only do we tend to self diagnose, we also self medicate with both legal and illegal substances. A throwback to a time when we could not truly afford medical care, or were denied service based on the color of our skin, so we did what we could do to patch ourselves up, mask the pain and keep on pushing. We see the same course of action in place today, especially in the field of mental health. Rather than go and talk with a trained qualified professional, we grab our friends (at least we think they are our friends) and try to talk through it. In far too many occasions they are not equipped to handle the enormity of what we are dealing with. We often choose this route instead of being officially seen and diagnosed because we don't want the stigma of having any official mental health issues to be placed in a medical file to follow us forever. Even worse as a minister, for people to be able to see that you don't have it all together and have it used against you to attack the ministry God has given or to not even give you the opportunity to serve. All because you publicly admitted you needed some help.
It is frightening and often times disheartening to reach out to people. We discover that our circle of friends is really only a dot with us standing on it all by ourselves. So many of us have had people that we once confided in that we don't even talk with anymore, because they willingly broke that confidence and shared what we told them in confidence with someone else. And if they will do it over something that is is not life altering or life threatening, how much more so will they flap their lips over something of this magnitude? (Proverbs 11:13) Preachers are just as guilty if not more so than those in the pews of spreading around the troubles of one preacher to other preachers and even to churches. So we often end up internalizing our struggle and trying to deal with it all our own, This makes it a dangerous prelude to disaster.
One of the subtle issues that mask someone that is depressed is what is called in some circles functional depression. This term (although not listed in the DSM manual) is used in some quarters to describe a person that is able to go to work, get thru their day and deal with people at a bare minimum to get the job done. But once that is over they go right back to that dark place of no light, no hope and no help. This is right where a lot of pastors that deal with depression are. They are able to pull it together for Sunday morning, Bible Study, etc. Yet no sooner is the benediction given and the job is done, they drift right back to that place. No words of encouragement in that moment, of job well done, are even heard. They fall on deaf ears. Only the sound of their loneliness, grief and pain fills their ears, even while in the midst of a crowd of people saying well done. I know all to well, because I have been there.
Depression eats away at the inside of a person. It robs them of what they need to sustain them from the inside out, until eventually all you see is the shell of the person. Inside they are hollowed out, empty, void of strength and resources. It makes them feel less than a man or woman in so many ways. Once it has become fully entrenched, it tightens its grip on the person crushing it with unrelenting force until the person decides it is better to be dead than to live like this. Again please understand that they in many cases, they look fine to you on the outside - some would even say normal (whatever that is), but it is on the inside where the pain resides. In some cases yes there will be an outward manifestation of depression which many of us can then recognize as something is wrong. But by that time it may be too late.
As a minister of the gospel that has not only dealt with this issue, along with seeing many peers deal with it, I am reminded of the saying that at times we are so heavenly minded that we are no earthly good. Pastor Rick Warren makes the statement that "a broken brain is just as physical as a broken bone." Working with children in sports there are many times that I have had to temporarily splint and protect an athlete's broken arm, leg, finger or toe until they could get to the hospital. This was my proper course of duty as a trained professional in my field. But my training and experience in my field was to only provide a temporary fix for my athlete, until the trained professional in the medical field could take over and provide a more permanent fix. When it comes to this issue of depression, many of us have absolutely no clinical training whatsoever to be able to diagnose or deal with it. Not on a temporary or on a permanent basis. And denying that it exists, simply telling someone to get over it, ignoring it, or attacking someone's faith in the process of trying to help them out of it is not only reprehensible, it does infinitely more harm than good.
May I suggest that if you are feeling discouraged, depressed and despondent, you need to find someone to talk to. Now. Call a mental health hotline. Reach out to a loved one that has your care, concern and best welfare at heart. Someone that can not only counsel you wisely but that cares for you in manner that they can and will point you in the right direction. Sometimes that direction will be right to a trained mental health professional. This issue is too serious to leave unattended, or to shake out on it's own. And if it is you that the person is reaching out to, take the time to listen. To pray, To point in the right direction. They trusted you with something painful. Don't throw that trust away or gossip it about town.
Make no mistake, I believe in the power of prayer. We should and must pray for those that are going thru something as crippling as this is. But even while I am praying, I am seeking to connect them with the appropriate God sent resources so that they can get the help that they need. I know that the best thing for me to do is to point them in the way they should go and if necessary walk with them in the process. Because when you are locked in this vice grip, even the words of Scripture seem like it is intended for everyone else in the entire World throughout the ages but you. That is something you will never understand unless you have been in the pits of depression and God brought you out! Before the light of the Gospel can crack the fog of depression there has got to be a shift in the atmospheric pressure in the mind/spirit of the person dealing with it. True agape love before the Father can shift that atmosphere. Lets love people to get them the help that they need. By any means necessary. Love them for who they are, not for what you want them to be or what they can do for you. Love them.
"...we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life;indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead; who delivered us from so great a peril of death, and will deliver us, He on whom we have set our hope. And He will yet deliver us,…" 2 Corinthians 1:8c-10
Depression is not something to deal with by yourself. You do not have to be strong enough to handle this on your own. If you are depressed, reach out and get professional help. There are numerous trained professional Christian counselors available across this land that know how to listen, to assist, to life coach and to encourage you in the things of faith while you fight this battle. They are bound by a professional code of conduct to keep the privacy of your sessions out of the prying eyes of those that would use it against you. We must remove the stigma of reaching out to trained professionals in this field simply because we are men and women of faith.
If you know someone that is depressed, pray for them and help them to seek out professional help immediately. Do not let them go though this alone.
If you know someone that is depressed, pray for them and help them to seek out professional help immediately. Do not let them go though this alone.
