Doesn't exist anymore in our culture. Neither does "I was or am wrong" "I apologize" "it will never happen again" or "I truly didn't mean it." Even the stronger biblical word repentance has disappeared from our collective souls on this earth. It has become a sign of weakness to say these words, A sign of vulnerability to admit error. A sign that you are in some moment in time acted in a manner that was less than civil, gracious, lawful, or agreeable. A brief moment in time when someone or something stands above you as victor.
Why is that? Is it merely ego? Or has it become a social and economic necessity to never admit wrong.
The curse of ego is always seemingly at the forefront to be sure. To admit wrong to many is the same thing as admitting defeat. This is something they have never been emotionally, socially, or mentally prepared to handle. By many, admitting wrong is seen as just as big of a character flaw than whatever was done. While many quote "it is better to ask forgiveness than permission," the naked truth is many don't ask for forgiveness at all.
Since when do we ask permission to say hurtful things to people? To say things that are demeaning and without a shred of common decency? Perhaps the issue is decency in our land has become uncommon. We want to say and do what we want to whomever we want and suffer no repercussions from it. Yet we don't extend that same right to others that disagree with us. We get to hurt others cause of the ancient ritual of "sticks and stones" but they can't hurt us because that is unfair, unpatriotic and just downright wrong. But I digress.
In many cases to say these words opens the doors to litigation and loss of money. Car insurance guidelines always remind us that if we are in an accident, never to admit fault. Even if we know beyond a shadow of a doubt we were at fault. Lawyers advise their clients to say nothing at all to impair their ability to defend you...again even if you know you were wrong. They do not admit fault in investigations, arrests, and judgement knowing not only does it jeopardize one case, but many cases. Numerous businesses, organizations, agencies, politicians and the like that know that they are in the wrong use this tactic and then lawyer up to do as much as possible from admitting error or fault. In their minds it is better for someone to walk away knowing they have been wronged with no apology, than to just man up and apologize.
So we shut up. We deny. We say we have no recollection of events. That we do not remember. If evidence is presented to prove that things were known at the time and wrong, the appalling and condescending " if I somehow offended you, THEN I am sorry" which puts all the blame on the one offended as being too weak to handle whatever was dished out. Or like the siblings forced to come together and make amends we mutter "sorry" under our breath yet have our fingers crossed behind our back.
This is where we are today.
I remember a time when saying sorry was not a death sentence. When saying forgive me was not made into a weakness that others would take advantage of but a sign or maturity and respect. When it was better to apologize for the sake of peace than to fight to win a fight that didn't even matter in the grand scheme of life. When I didn't mean to hurt you was not met with derisive scorn and laughter but compassion and understanding. In fifty two years of living, I have seen a lot of things come and go, but seeing this one go pains me greatly.
For that, I am truly sorry.
