This burden

"The burden of the brutalized is not to comfort the bystander."

How many names are not called out because of little to no media attention? How many have been kept out the limelight, swept under the rug and ignored? How many have been shamed and shunned into silence by the same forces that committed the evil upon them in the first place? How many told that no one will believe them? Told you can't win in the courts, or in public opinion so you may as well give up and go on about your business?

How many more names will be added to this list in our generation? When in our lifetime will we all admit that there is a problem here? That being black in America has never meant free, no matter what we were taught in schools or what ideals we like to proclaim that we have? That no matter our status, social standing, degrees of learning, economic status, political affiliation we are still subject to a level of inequality and distress not visited upon those absent of melanin. That no matter if we are quiet or defend ourselves; if we are calm and rational or agitated and irrational we are seen as a threat first by the majority of people in this country. Especially those that do not look like us. As a result we are dealt with as a threat first. Only when the threat has been "minimized, and neutralized" in their minds by those in power, are we ever given a chance to prove somehow that we are worthy of being treated fairly, justly, and with respect to our human condition.

The time for silence is over. We must speak the truth to those in power. Our voices must be heard. We must no longer duck our heads, fade into the background of the day so as not to make those around us uncomfortable with the realities of the day. Divide and conquer has always been used against us to keep us on the sidelines so as not to appear too radical or out of touch with the "american dream." "You are not like them" is not now nor ever been a complement. It is a war strategy, designed to weaken our unity. It is to divide us against ourselves, to set one group against another, to pit the house against the field, to give illusion that one group is better than when in reality we are all regardless of position or social standing despised the same by those that harbor hatred, evil, and blood lust in their souls.

Light is the best antiseptic. We must cast light on the evils of the day until a change happens. if not us, who? If not now, when? Use your voice to cry loud and spare not. Use your song! Sing till the angels come to inquire about the state of men and the ancestors of past struggles bones come together bone to bone with those who struggle now. Use your pen! Write poetry, spoken word, essays, blogs, letters and posts with clarity of convictions yet with compassion towards those that are merely caught up in the riptide of evil having no ill intent towards any one. Use your mind! Think deeper than the surface and media manipulation to know that the truth like great riches is often hidden from the lazy. Shine the light bright! Where there is political injustice, speak! Social injustice, speak! Racial injustice, speak! Miscarriages of justice, speak! Don't wait for change, work for it and be it!

Speak life!

"We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented."

Beware

Beware of vultures. Vultures feed off the dead things in your life. The dead things in your life give them strength to live. Without the dead things they go and search elsewhere. The issue is not that you don't recognize that thing as dead, but that you have left it open and available to feed off of. The best way to get rid of the vultures in your life is to bury your dead things in an unmarked grave.

Before you crown him King

Before you call someone King you need to know how he became King. How he got to the throne has a direct bearing on how he will treat you should you truly become his Queen.

Some come by divine assignment
Others by divine appointment
Some by birth
Others thru death
Some earn in battle
Some ursurp the throne
And others are gifted with it by others who recognize their Kingship.

So...what kind of King are you claiming? 

Forgiveness and Grace

The offender has no right or standing to demand forgiveness for his or actions: be they acts of commission or omission; things misinterpreted or things implied, things done or things avoided. To do so is to not truly seek right relationship with the offended but to avoid responsibility as the offender for pain caused or retribution owed. Forgiveness is solely an act of grace bestowed on those who are indeed guilty and undeserving. The grace of forgiveness releases the offender from the penalty of the offense but not the sentence,

We are still guilty, We are still in debt for our deeds, We owe a price we can not pay. Oh but for grace extended and forgiveness granted upon we who do not deserve it and often mishandle it. May we never misapply the wonderful truth of what forgiveness is and how thru it grace is bestowed upon we who do not truly deserve it. #dailymemo

The Cost is Too High

More and more the platform for true and fair competition in every walk of life is being eroded all around us by the drive to win at all costs. We have become a society that loves winning or the perception in the minds of others that we have won so much, that we will say and do absolutely anything to win. Whether on the job, in the sporting arena, the home, the marriage, the political sphere or even on social media the idea that "I must win at all costs" has become inextricably woven to the soul of who we are as people.

This frightens me.

When you look at the concept of American exceptionalism, it is nothing more than grandstanding pompously thumping our chests to the rest of the world to say America is a winner. When you watch sporting programs, you see the winner celebrated even if they won by the slimmest of margins or the flukiest of circumstances while the is loser decimated and dismantled. Not just on the field mind you, but by those paid to in effect bury them alive via their opinions. In the home, peace is pushed aside in favor of who is right. In the political realm we see the mudslinging, demonizing, pathological lying and twisting of facts and truth in order to secure a win for one side or the other. A devilish game that all sides play yet all equally deny.

The shame in all of this is we have crossed a line; left it far behind us in our rear view mirror many hundreds of miles. It is no longer fair, or fun, or even conceivable to the well balanced soul anymore what we do in order to win. We say the scandalous, do the despicable, insinuate the incredulous, post the preposterous, trumpet the thoughtless and commit to the most vile craven parts of our human existence only to be able to say we or our side won.  We destroy others just to say we won.

What have we really come to? In effect this is what we saw this past National election cycle. Not only during the process and subsequent vote, but on social media, in protests, on news shows and opinion web sites. In coffee houses, chat rooms, teacher lounges, and church parking lots. That winning is all that matters. How we do it is irrelevant. Who we hurt, run over, destroy, and slander is immaterial. Only the results matter, for only they are ultimately judged by history. Not only will we do these things, but we will then disavow, disengage, deny and down play those things afterwards as if it didn't happen or it meant nothing at all. With a wink and a nod thrown in of course because that is not who we really are.

My friends we must slam the brakes on this mindset, turn the car around and head back towards a place of balance. If we do not, we will careen off the cliffs into a canyon of chaos that we are rapidly approaching. Much quicker than many of us anticipate. Compassion, caring and commitment to be a loving community must be where we point ourselves towards as a people. We can not live like this anymore. As a people. As a nation. As a world. Enough is enough.

Retribution has become normalization for our culture. We are damaging relationships beyond earthly repair...fathers against sons and mothers against daughters. All to say we won what? An argument? A competition? A post? A flame war? A vote? Surely much more was intended out of life than this. For we can not retract words once spoken or deeds done. Many today would shout karma but before karma ever became a mainstream concept for the masses we learned thru spiritual development and the songs of our fore-bearers "you will reap what you sow and what you plant surely will grow." To belittle people for not getting past or over things you did to them is to be a bully of the worst order. Allowing you to do your dirt, while throwing shade on those you purposefully intended to hurt in the first place. Living and dying by the sword becomes a cyclical outcome with no end in sight. In words often spoken down south "you kill my dog, I kill your cat." That has become the new normal for this country. The win at all costs culture is a linchpin of it.

As a former athlete, coach, and entrepreneur, I have absolutely nothing against winning and pursuing it passionately. We do not coach to lose. We want our athletes to want to win bad. I am against undermining others to win, But I don't want to coach an athlete that has to do what Tonya Harding did to Nancy Kerrigan in order to win. I don't want to coach an athlete that takes short cuts to climb the mountain of success. You don't cheat, you conquer. Conquer with persistence, commitment, training and sheer will. Conquer by being the better person, inside and out. I am against tearing down others to say we won or should of won. I am against teaching athletes who will one day go out in the real world that if they don't win they are consigned to the scrapheap of failure for perpetuity. There are many lessons to be learned in losing - perhaps many more than in winning. You win with humility and lose with grace. You redouble your positive efforts and eliminate negativity. You learn and move forward.

I want to win. But I don't want to win at all costs. Not is coaching. Not in competing. Not in life. That price is way to high to pay. We are seeing that as a country now.

Let's turn around while we have time and space.

Dream!!!

One of the greatest crimes is when we tell children and adults "don't dream your dream, stop imagining your ideas, stay in reality, don't be different." We intentionally disable the creative mechanism for the sake of a neutered normalcy then wonder where are the creators, the dreamers, the idea people of the next generation? We have buried them in coffins of complacency because we are afraid of being seen as being different AND being connected to them. Or are we afraid that they will awaken within us dreams that have been dumped in favor of an easier predictable path? Dream again. Believe Again. Imagine again! Live your dream!

I'm Sorry...

Doesn't exist anymore in our culture. Neither does "I was or am wrong" "I apologize" "it will never happen again" or "I truly didn't mean it." Even the stronger biblical word repentance has disappeared from our collective souls on this earth. It has become a sign of weakness to say these words, A sign of vulnerability to admit error. A sign that you are in some moment in time acted in a manner that was less than civil, gracious, lawful, or agreeable.  A brief moment in time when someone or something stands above you as victor.

Why is that? Is it merely ego? Or has it become a social and economic necessity to never admit wrong.

The curse of ego is always seemingly at the forefront to be sure. To admit wrong to many is the same thing as admitting defeat. This is something they have never been emotionally, socially, or mentally prepared to handle. By many, admitting wrong is seen as just as big of a character flaw than whatever was done. While many quote "it is better to ask forgiveness than permission," the naked truth is many don't ask for forgiveness at all.

Since when do we ask permission to say hurtful things to people? To say things that are demeaning and without a shred of common decency? Perhaps the issue is decency in our land has become uncommon. We want to say and do what we want to whomever we want and suffer no repercussions from it. Yet we don't extend that same right to others that disagree with us. We get to hurt others cause of the ancient ritual of "sticks and stones" but they can't hurt us because that is unfair, unpatriotic and just downright wrong. But I digress.

In many cases to say these words opens the doors to litigation and loss of money. Car insurance guidelines always remind us that if we are in an accident, never to admit fault. Even if we know beyond a shadow of a doubt we were at fault. Lawyers advise their clients to say nothing at all to impair their ability to defend you...again even if you know you were wrong. They do not admit fault in investigations, arrests, and judgement knowing not only does it jeopardize one case, but many cases. Numerous businesses, organizations, agencies, politicians and the like that know that they are in the wrong use this tactic and then lawyer up to do as much as possible from admitting error or fault. In their minds it is better for someone to walk away knowing they have been wronged with no apology, than to just man up and apologize.

So we shut up. We deny. We say we have no recollection of events. That we do not remember. If evidence is presented to prove that things were known at the time and wrong, the appalling and condescending " if I somehow offended you, THEN I am sorry" which puts all the blame on the one offended as being too weak to handle whatever was dished out. Or like the siblings forced to come together and make amends we mutter "sorry" under our breath yet have our fingers crossed behind our back.

This is where we are today.

I remember a time when saying sorry was not a death sentence. When saying forgive me was not made into a weakness that others would take advantage of but a sign or maturity and respect. When it was better to apologize for the sake of peace than to fight to win a fight that didn't even matter in the grand scheme of life. When I didn't mean to hurt you was not met with derisive scorn and laughter but compassion and understanding. In fifty two years of living, I have seen a lot of things come and go, but seeing this one go pains me greatly.

For that, I am truly sorry.