When the church doesn't call

For the past two Sundays I have been waiting with my phone close at hand. Constantly checking to see if I had missed a call, or if it had inadvertently gone to voice mail. As the day wore on I automatically knew that if the church had indeed voted for a pastor, that I had not been selected. It seems to be standing operating procedure these days to not contact the runner up of a vote just in case the first choice turns the church down. This way they can offer the church to the runner up as if they had actually been the first choice, when in reality they were not.

Later that evening my hunch based on many years experience was confirmed via text message. While the initial feelings of rejection (because in reality that is what it is) are always strong, we who have been called by God to lead His people are forced to put the rejection of serving God at that capacity at that moment in some type of polite packaging fit for consumption.

We quote scriptures as "all things work together for the good of them that love God and are the called according to his appearing." We declare and decree that greater is coming. We are adamant that they let the best one get away. We get prayer partners to touch and agree that another door will be opened. We even have people throwing more pastoral leads at us, telling us the church made a mistake and just hold on awhile, or even that this is a sign to start your own church.

Yet honestly, we hurt. There is perhaps no greater pain of rejection than to feel as if you are rejected from doing the work of God, and by extension by God himself. No matter how blithely we try to go about our business, it gets to us. We are conditioned to equate the call of God to Pastor and the fact that a church selects us as confirmation of the call. Many times a minister is not even ordained until this happens, So when the church does not call, it appears to many that you have been forsaken, forgotten, or in the words of a friend "fired and you just haven't got the memo yet."

What we conversely also are conditioned to believe is that if a church doesn't call, that something is desperately and undeniably wrong with the candidate. There is a fatal flaw perhaps well hidden that renders them incapable and unworthy of the position. That they fall short not only in the eyes of the church but in the eyes of God himself. And if by chance it is many years that a minister is not called to pastor, it becomes a mark of shame on their record. You hear the murmurs "what is wrong with them that no one has selected them yet?" While many official church meetings may never propose that question, off the record conversations before or after the meeting, at the cars, in the homes, on the telephones unofficially it happens almost universally.

This last rejection caused me to look back over the years since I had relocated to a different part of the country. A place where I literally had no connections, no one that knew me and no one who had any knowledge of my ministry experiences. In a six year period, I ministered at six established churches with vacant pulpits and had officially been a pastoral candidate at five of those churches. This means I became one of the final two or three for the position of pastor of that church. Out of those five churches not one of them called to officially inform me that I was not the candidate they chose. I found out via texts, phone calls from fellow ministers loosely connected with the church and even on Facebook. Only one sent me a letter to officially notify me, even though by that time I already knew. All of which got me to thinking what do we do when the church doesn't call? Does that mean our time spent ministering at those churches was in vain? Does it mean we are forever consigned to only fill the gap until the next pastor is chosen? Does it mean we need to overhaul how both churches and ministers approach the process of applying for and filling vacant pulpits?

How do we the redeemed handle the rejection of the redeemed? Let's briefly consider the following:

1.) Are you called to Pastor?

This is crucial to understand right from the onset. Because truthfully we have glorified the position of pastor so that in order to be "accepted" by the Body of Christ and your fellow cadre of preachers,you have to be a pastor. It has long been said it is better to be a pastor of five to ten folks than a pastor of none. Being a pastor is equated with leadership, therefore not being a pastor means you are not a leader in the view of many. Trying to do much of the work in conferences, associations, and conventions without being a pastor is often a long tough upward pull in the snow and ice, with nothing but sneakers on. No matter how good or great of a person and preacher you are seen to be, not being a pastor is often a cause for many of your own peers not to see, hear, or follow you, let alone acknowledge you.

Truthfully many have not been called to pastor. They are great preachers, teachers, evangelists, and prophets, but not pastors. They do not have a pastors heart or spirit. They are looking to further the areas of ministry that are their calling but attempting to use the pastoral platform to do so. Many churches are still struggling on how to embrace the diversity of gifts present in their church so that all may grow in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Many pastors are uncomfortable having a lot of ministers serve under them and some are intimidated if one or two are seen as a better preacher than they are by the congregation. And many ministers do not have the patience to wait for the right opportunities to use the gifts that the Lord has entrusted to them. This often leads to division and schisms in the local body.

This leaves many newer ministers floundering, looking for instruction, mentoring, practical training, for guidance, counsel looking to accepted and validated in their calling. This has them running from house to house and door to door, seeking a place that will welcome their gifts. Many will strike out on their own to start their own church or ministry where they can fulfill what they believe that God is calling for them to do.

2.) Did God tell you to apply in the first place?

Just because a church is vacant, does not mean that you should apply. You may not be ready for it. You may not be a fit for the church. More churches and preachers are marginalized in ministry due to not being a good fit for each other.  I remember when I first started preaching in 1988 I was asked by one of the deacons of the church I was baptized at to submit a resume for the church. This would of been an opportunity for me to go back to my home state, to people who knew me growing up and to a church that I had belonged to for many years, even teaching Sunday School as a youth. It would of automatically given me status in the community and in the preaching community.

Yet I would of arrived prematurely at a spot I knew that I was not ready for. That could of been disastrous to me, my family and the church. Thank God for the wisdom of knowing that I was not ready for that church. That I knew I was young, inexperienced, and a bad fit at that time was a blessing from above. If I had allowed ego, desire, or peer pressure to push me in to applying, I may not even be here to write this blog. Every church is not a fit for every pastoral candidate. At some point, the prospective pastor must do some critical self evaluation and eliminate some places from their application process. Not because of size, money or demographics - because it is not a good fit. You don't know that unless you spend time in prayer with God and let Him guide you.

At this stage of my life and ministry with me being much closer to the end of my journey than the beginning, I rarely apply for churches. I visit them if invited to or led by the Holy Spirit, minister if asked and only submit a resume upon their request. This allows me to see them in their natural environment if you will, pray for guidance and make a preliminary determination if we might even be a fit, before we go anywhere in the process.  This way I do not waste their time clogging up their process. While this drastically reduces my odds of being called to a church, it has also afforded me wonderful opportunities to get to know the people of each church and be a servant to them.

3.) Did you do what God told you to do while in the process?

This a crucial question of self evaluation and stewardship. Many times in the quest to be liked, appreciated or chosen by a congregation we compromise our beliefs, our convictions, our personalities and our preaching. As I told a minister the other day we play dumb so we are not seen as too smart and therefore too uppity. Or we try to impress with words, phrases, language and mannerisms we have zero fluency with so that they don't think we are untrained.

In the case of this last church that I did not receive the call from, I had visited the church about three years ago for a couple of Sundays. Last June while fellowshipping at another church I clearly heard the Lord tell me to go back over to this church. I did as I was told and the Lord again clearly told me to stay until I tell you to. So I did just that. The pastor opened the pulpit up to me, and even allowed me to go out and represent him at other local churches. Unexpectedly the pastor died three months later. He had not been ill so this was a tremendous blow to the church.  And it was then I knew why God had told me to go there. To be a comfort and assist to them as they were going through the grieving process and to help them until they called their next pastor. That was my role in being there, and it was my job to be faithful to that role regardless of what happened. I was a temp worker not meant to be a permanent hire at that location. Although I wanted it to be a long term assignment, it was only designed to be a short term one.

A second part of this is knowing the role that you fill as an evangelist during the candidacy period vs being their pastor. Pastoral statements are not yours to make, no matter how much you think they like you and how many "amens" you get. There will always be someone at every church saying you need to take charge and be "a pastor" well before they have chosen anyone. Be mindful that the same hand that pats you on the back can often push you down the stairs.

4.) Did you give your very best?

Again, this strikes to our stewardship. Did we offer our best as unto the Lord, or did we just "dial it in" because they weren't  ready, don't get it, etc? We lose sight of the fact that this service that we render is unto the Lord first and foremost. There should never be a reason that prohibits you from personally giving your best.

Rev. Dr. Johnny Youngblood when preaching at the St Paul Community Baptist Church in New York as a candidate for the pastorship tells of his sincere desire not to be the pastor. He writes in his book Upon this Rock: The Miracles of a Black Church that  he did everything he could do in his mind to prevent them from choosing him. But the one thing he could not bring himself to do is not give his best in the ministry of the word. The record shows that he was elected the pastor and served that church and community for many many years with colorful distinction

In no way am I applauding or advocating for an approach similar to Rev. Dr.  Youngblood. What I am saying is that we should always give our best every time we are afforded an opportunity to minister in His name and for His glory. Nothing less will do.

5.) Did you truly commit to the Lord's way being done, no matter what it was?

Being the candidate of a church changes you more than you realize. It is one thing just to get an opportunity to minister to a church that is looking for a pastor. But once they put you down as a candidate things change drastically. You begin to think well what if I do become the pastor....what would I do...what kind of furniture do I want in my study...who will preach my installation? You move from the realm of no way it is happening and I am just here to serve to it is possible I will be your next pastor. And if you consider yourself a person of faith, you feel guilty for not thinking any way other than it will happen. After all how can they not select you? (See what happens there?)

But if it is like 99% of our churches there is at least one other person in the running. Even if it is a "shadow" candidate - meaning one only put there to ensure the appearance of a fair vote by a board to the congregation when that candidate has not been afforded the same due processes of anyone else.
Just the mere specter of a vote means you can lose.  What if you do lose? Can you still see God's hand in it? Or will you cry loud about the unfairness, rigged votes, protocols and procedures violated? Can you humbly and honestly say "thy will be done" even if it personally places you in a position of loss and rejection?

6.) Are you willing to follow Him, even if you never get that position?

This is the unthinkable for many yet I have several friends and associates around the country that are struggling with this exact same issue right now.  When you think of one church rejecting you, it is soon considered water over the bridge. Oh well, just move on to the next church. What happens when the one turns to two...the two turns to five..the one year turns to two years and two years turn to six years? What happens if for the length and breadth of your remaining life, no call to pastor comes your way? What happens if you know that God has called you to that work yet no church confirms that call.  You never get the chance to be called Pastor, other than as a term of respect or polite civility. Forever consigned to be a jackleg or wanna be by many due to circumstances well beyond your control.

I have friends in this position that have been in ministry as long as I have. Not once have they received that call to be a pastor. The cruel things that people and other preachers have said about them because they are not pastoring is ungodly and reprehensible. Growing up you always heard the of those ministers that never got called to a church to pastor - associate ministers for life was the kindest thing you ever heard. You never think you will personally know one. Or become one.

In one of my favorite texts, Jesus ordains twelve that they should be with Him and that He might send them forth to preach. The understanding to me is unmistakable. We are called to be with Him regardless of where He is and what He does. He sets us apart for whatever task He pleases - we have no input or objection to override His choice. While He might send us out to preach, our first call is to be with Him.

That is a call we should be available to answer any time.