If One Person Gets This

It is unfair and down right selfish to force a child - any child regardless of age to lie to cover up for your mess, sins, indiscretions, mistakes, habits, etc. You did your dirt and many times you were happy doing it. But to make them lie so you don't have to deal with the fallout, forces them to live a life of confusion, shame, regret, and double standards. Why? Because you tell them and raise them to tell the truth - except that one thing because it is too painful, too embarrassing, it will hurt too many people. So every day of their life they live a lie that you created. Let me tell you there are grown folks in every age range that still have not been able to deal with the duplicity.

Stop telling folks that "the Lord will help you" deal with a mess they didn't create but you did. All you are doing is deflecting your responsibility of dealing with the issues you created or were witness to. How can we claim to be transparent and open with everyone in the church world, yet all you tell your child is lies? You allow them to deal with the shame you are not man or woman enough to own up to with your super saved and holy self? Ichabod.

This is a pain I have personally lived. And I would be lying that if I said at 50 years old it doesn't bother me at times and is one major reason I don't go home to NJ as much as I should. The pain of my youth is still too great to deal with. Yet it troubles me more that everywhere I go the amount of people that are dealing with the same thing. In every church I pastored, in every community I lived, the same stories exist. The stories may be slightly different - the outcomes and pains far greater than mine will ever be, but the root issues are exactly the same. Shame, selfishness, stupidity, sin. Stop forcing your children and grandchildren to bear a burden that you refuse to deal with. This generational curse did not come from the devil, is not a thorn in your side or a cross that must be born but from your refusal to man up. Again that is deflection of the issue instead of dealing with it. Confess it, seek forgiveness for it, deal with it and move on. Or continue to play the role of of having it all together to others, when really you are fractured to the core. Decide. ‪#‎nomoretimeforstupid‬‪#‎ifonepersongetsthis‬