Once Again...

So let me understand.....

A PBS program (not exactly TMZ or some hatchet fake news website) Finding Your Roots is blocked from airing because a prominent powerful actor does not want it revealed that his ancestors were slave owners.
Yet thru the very action of blocking it, he revealed that his ancestors were slave owners.

Once again we are shown how the powerful elite can control what is said and broadcast, and how the truth can be silenced. Again we are shown how other less prominent or powerful people aren't afforded the same opportunity to rewrite their families history in a more favorable light.

Those who are connected to those who suffered through slavery are admonished to forgive and forget; to move on, turn the other cheek and be the bigger person even when still routinely being told that they are second class citizens. . All while walking in parks, driving on streets, studying in schools and living in cities dedicated to people that fought to keep them enslaved because it benefited them economically.

Yet again we are shown that others can continually rewrite history to cast themselves and by extension those that may have participated in owning slaves in a more favorable light.

Again we have tangible proof that some people just don't "get it" when it comes to slavery and what it did to the mind, soul, and spirit of the entire country. How do you get over something that all you hear is deny it existed. deny it was that bad. deny any involvement or knowledge, deny it took place. It wont be long before it is completely written out of our history books and consciousnesses as a country and the brainwash will be complete.

I am glad that I learned my history from my grandmother and grandfather, I am glad I know the story and did not need a website or a tv show to tell me who my ancestors are. I am blessed because i know where my bloodline came ashore, where we were sold, where the plantation was in Sussex County, Va, I know because we were admonished to never forget. I know because we wrote in it books stitched together with yarn. I know because at family reunions the elders still gather the young from near and far and tell them the old old story. Because once you forget, you can be brought back to that same place.We were admonished to tell the story to our children so that they know as well.

I don't hate, nor do I hold malice. I don't look side eyed or fail to trust or give chances because of what happened in the past. But that does not mean that I don't remember, Not from what I was taught nor from what i personally experienced. Our issues as a country are way deeper than symbols and statues. It is the substance that troubles us. That when we look in the mirror we don't like what we see so we try to rewrite it based on our ideals instead of facing the reality.

Until we admit it, we will never get past it. We can't even do that as a country. Therein lies the root of the problem.

Ideal vs Real

There is an ideal America and the real America.

We are taught and indoctrinated by those who have a vested interest in hiding their involvement in past abuses of their own ideals. We are taught the ideals of a future state that constantly asks those being denied rights to ignore the abuses of the past, even when they still occur in the present. The reality of America is that the ideals of this country don't often manifest in reality but fora select few, often on sharply divided economic and ethnic lines. The idealists shout down those who point out the realities of not living up to the ideals. The realists often wallow in the realities pointing their fingers at the wrongs they have experienced without doing what they personally can do to push for better ideals.

Yet my present reality of living wont stop me from pushing for a better one for those that follow after me. We must give them better than what we have received. That is not an optional. Make it better starting now.

Sacrifice. Service.Love.

Sacrifice. Service.  Love.

These are three simple words, yet maddeningly complex words to personally embrace in our lives.

Sacrifice - To do so is often defined as to give up. A loss. Something that will never be reclaimed or recovered. That in itself sounds negative. Choose to see it as a channeled release of potential to acknowledge, aid and assist others to fulfill their destiny. Whether it is the release of time, treasure, thought or talent, it has a definite purpose in being released that you seek no reward from doing. It costs you but blesses them. No reward, no payback. None.

Service - To be able to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. It is a tangible kindness of actions and deeds devoid of manipulative reasoning. In some way no matter our chosen career path, we are in reality employed in the eternal service industry. For what we say and do has eternal implications and destiny in view. The joy and pleasure of serving with a right spirit is greater than that of being served. How may I serve you, must become your daily heart and soul mission.

Love – “What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want, It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men. That is what love looks like.” St Augustine

The more you embrace these core principles and live these out daily, you live a glorious life. A life that is free of the constraints of mediocrity and meandering. It is no longer what you can get out of life, but what can you give. Not how can you shine but how can you serve. To live any less is to live a life devoid of positive impact on a world that desperately needs it.

Beyond the Shout; We Need Help.

There is a rising awareness of depression that is sitting like an ominous vulture in our pews and pulpits every time the church doors are open for any service. Many of the saints of God not only struggle with depression but they struggle even more with being able to publicly admit they deal with it. Every one of us in some way or the other, deals with issues from childhood, broken relationships, inability to be in or maintain positive relationships, marital discord, employment struggles, financial worries, insecurities, self doubt, fears, health concerns, abuse of any kind, painful personal experiences and circumstances that for one person "may be nothing but something to deal with." For the next person however it could be a silent trigger that sends them spiraling rapidly downward into the pits of depression. What didn't bother you, bothered me. What didn't trip me up, tripped you up. This is not a one size fits all illness or cure. If not caught in time, depression can lead to severe traumatic issues, injuries and even death. Why is that so, when there are so many resources available for understanding and treatment?

For many in the church to openly admit to being depressed is seen not only as a major sign of personal weakness, but it is seen as a sign that one is not as spiritually rooted in Christ, connected to His Favor, living on His promises and anointed by the Holy Ghost as they should be. One's faith is called into question, along with in some cases, their salvation. Somehow in the minds of some, they are missing the spiritual mark. Some sin must be present in their life to bring them to this point. Depression is claimed by others to only be a spirit that must be bound and cast out and once that is done, there will be no evidence of it ever being present in the first place. This battle is fought on many planes, not just the spiritual one.

Another issue is to be honest not only do we tend to self diagnose, we also self medicate with both legal and illegal substances. A throwback to a time when we could not truly afford medical care, or were denied service based on the color of our skin, so we did what we could do to patch ourselves up, mask the pain and keep on pushing. We see the same course of action in place today, especially in the field of mental health. Rather than go and talk with a trained qualified professional, we grab our friends (at least we think they are our friends)  and try to talk through it. In far too many occasions they are not equipped to handle the enormity of what we are dealing with. We often choose this route instead of being officially seen and diagnosed because we don't want the stigma of having any official mental health issues to be placed in a medical file to follow us forever. Even worse as a minister, for people to be able to see that you don't have it all together and have it used against you to attack the ministry God has given or to not even give you the opportunity to serve.  All because you publicly admitted you needed some help.

It is frightening and often times disheartening to reach out to people. We discover that our circle of friends is really only a dot with us standing on it all by ourselves. So many of us have had people that we once confided in that we don't even talk with anymore, because they willingly broke that confidence and shared what we told them in confidence with someone else. And if they will do it over something that is is not life altering or life threatening, how much more so will they flap their lips over something of this magnitude?  (Proverbs 11:13) Preachers are just as guilty if not more so than those in the pews of spreading around the troubles of one preacher to other preachers and even to churches. So we often end up internalizing our struggle and trying to deal with it all our own, This makes it a dangerous prelude to disaster.

One of the subtle issues that mask someone that is depressed is what is called in some circles functional depression. This term (although not listed in the DSM manual) is used in some quarters to describe a person that is able to go to work, get thru their day and deal with people at a bare minimum to get the job done. But once that is over they go right back to that dark place of no light, no hope and no help. This is right where a lot of pastors that deal with depression are. They are able to pull it together for Sunday morning, Bible Study, etc. Yet no sooner is the benediction given and the job is done, they drift right back to that place. No words of encouragement in that moment, of job well done, are even heard. They fall on deaf ears. Only the sound of their loneliness, grief and pain fills their ears, even while in the midst of a crowd of people saying well done. I know all to well, because I have been there.

Depression eats away at the inside of a person. It robs them of what they need to sustain them from the inside out, until eventually all you see is the shell of the person. Inside they are hollowed out, empty, void of strength and resources.  It makes them feel less than a man or woman in so many ways. Once it has become fully entrenched, it tightens its grip on the person crushing it with unrelenting force until the person decides it is better to be dead than to live like this. Again please understand that they in many cases, they look fine to you on the outside - some would even say normal (whatever that is), but it is on the inside where the pain resides. In some cases yes there will be an outward manifestation of depression which many of us can then recognize as something is wrong. But by that time it may be too late.

As a minister of the gospel that has not only dealt with this issue, along with seeing many peers deal with it, I am reminded of the saying that at times we are so heavenly minded that we are no earthly good. Pastor Rick Warren makes the statement that "a broken brain is just as physical as a broken bone." Working with children in sports there are many times that I have had to temporarily splint and protect an athlete's broken arm, leg, finger or toe until they could get to the hospital. This was my proper course of duty as a trained professional in my field. But my training and experience in my field was to only provide a temporary fix for my athlete, until the trained professional in the medical field could take over and provide a more permanent fix. When it comes to this issue of depression, many of us have absolutely no clinical training whatsoever to be able to diagnose or deal with it. Not on a temporary or on a permanent basis. And denying that it exists, simply telling someone to get over it, ignoring it, or attacking someone's faith in the process of trying to help them out of it is not only reprehensible, it does infinitely more harm than good.

May I suggest that if you are feeling discouraged, depressed and despondent, you need to find someone to talk to. Now. Call a mental health hotline.  Reach out to a loved one that has your care, concern and best welfare at heart. Someone that can not only counsel you wisely but that cares for you in manner that they can and will point you in the right direction. Sometimes that direction will be right to a trained mental health professional. This issue is too serious to leave unattended, or to shake out on it's own. And if it is you that the person is reaching out to, take the time to listen. To pray, To point in the right direction. They trusted you with something painful. Don't throw that trust away or gossip it about town.

Make no mistake, I believe in the power of prayer. We should and must pray for those that are going thru something as crippling as this is. But even while I am praying, I am seeking to connect them with the appropriate God sent resources so that they can get the help that they need. I know that the best thing for me to do is to point them in the way they should go and if necessary walk with them in the process. Because when you are locked in this vice grip, even the words of Scripture seem like it is intended for everyone else in the entire World throughout the ages but you. That is something you will never understand unless you have been in the pits of depression and God brought you out! Before the light of the Gospel can crack the fog of depression there has got to be a shift in the atmospheric pressure in the mind/spirit of the person dealing with it. True agape love before the Father can shift that atmosphere.  Lets love people to get them the help that they need. By any means necessary. Love them for who they are, not for what you want them to be or what they can do for you. Love them.

"...we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life;indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead; who delivered us from so great a peril of death, and will deliver us, He on whom we have set our hope. And He will yet deliver us,…" 2 Corinthians 1:8c-10

Depression is not something to deal with by yourself. You do not have to be strong enough to handle this on your own. If you are depressed, reach out and get professional help. There are numerous trained professional Christian counselors available across this land that know how to listen, to assist, to life coach and to encourage you in the things of faith while you fight this battle. They are bound by a professional code of conduct to keep the privacy of your sessions out of the prying eyes of those that would use it against you. We must remove the stigma of reaching out to trained professionals in this field simply because we are men and women of faith. 

If you know someone that is depressed, pray for them and help them to seek out professional help immediately. Do not let them go though this alone. 

If One Person Gets This

It is unfair and down right selfish to force a child - any child regardless of age to lie to cover up for your mess, sins, indiscretions, mistakes, habits, etc. You did your dirt and many times you were happy doing it. But to make them lie so you don't have to deal with the fallout, forces them to live a life of confusion, shame, regret, and double standards. Why? Because you tell them and raise them to tell the truth - except that one thing because it is too painful, too embarrassing, it will hurt too many people. So every day of their life they live a lie that you created. Let me tell you there are grown folks in every age range that still have not been able to deal with the duplicity.

Stop telling folks that "the Lord will help you" deal with a mess they didn't create but you did. All you are doing is deflecting your responsibility of dealing with the issues you created or were witness to. How can we claim to be transparent and open with everyone in the church world, yet all you tell your child is lies? You allow them to deal with the shame you are not man or woman enough to own up to with your super saved and holy self? Ichabod.

This is a pain I have personally lived. And I would be lying that if I said at 50 years old it doesn't bother me at times and is one major reason I don't go home to NJ as much as I should. The pain of my youth is still too great to deal with. Yet it troubles me more that everywhere I go the amount of people that are dealing with the same thing. In every church I pastored, in every community I lived, the same stories exist. The stories may be slightly different - the outcomes and pains far greater than mine will ever be, but the root issues are exactly the same. Shame, selfishness, stupidity, sin. Stop forcing your children and grandchildren to bear a burden that you refuse to deal with. This generational curse did not come from the devil, is not a thorn in your side or a cross that must be born but from your refusal to man up. Again that is deflection of the issue instead of dealing with it. Confess it, seek forgiveness for it, deal with it and move on. Or continue to play the role of of having it all together to others, when really you are fractured to the core. Decide. ‪#‎nomoretimeforstupid‬‪#‎ifonepersongetsthis‬ 

Going Forward...

Had a great time over the holidays. Best memory was sitting daughters down and telling them as much as I could remember about the Briggs - Hill - Edmonds Family history, starting with being slaves in Sussex County, Virginia to this present day. Grateful that before there was an ancestry dot com website we had written down our history and passed it on to the children through oral tradition Grateful that I listened to it and memorized most of it when young. Hilarious moment was while recounting my great grandfather was a peanut farmer who sold his farm and the family bought three lots of land in the Heights section of Petersburg, my youngest asked "so my great, great grandfather was George Washington Carver?" (at least she made the connection to Carver and peanuts at 10 years old.) It also reminded me that my first and second cousins are in this generation the elders of the family. The standard bearers. Those that the younger ones look up to, admire, and wonder all about.This is a tradition we will keep every year. So they will be able to orally pass this knowledge down to their children and grandchildren, should the Lord tarry His coming. #knowwhereyoucamefrom #itsaboutlegacy

Enough

I have deleted several "friends" from my life since the killing of Trayvon Martin, Micheal Brown, Eric Garner and I suspect I will be deleting several more. I have no issue with you disagreeing with me. Grown, mature, intelligent people can do that and not be disagreeable. I am truly appreciative of the real honest dialogue on status and in private messages from those who haven't been black one minute in America so you have no idea what it is like to deal with this country while in our skin. It is not because you don't believe racism is still prevalent in many areas of society, even if you don't personally subscribe to it. This isn't about the validation of rioting by anyone at anytime. Not only is rioting the language of the unheard; this is about an anger you can not comprehend from the luxury of your privilege. I personally don't agree with rioting but I get the pain where it is coming from. After all if I remember correctly there is something about a Boston Tea Party where private property was destroyed by looters, seeking to make changes in the current laws of the land that they deemed unfair. But oh...that's right... it was perfectly ok for them to destroy another persons property, livelihood and fight their unjust laws. I wonder why? (Rhetorical question so insert sarcasm here)

But when you post statuses about killing protesters, all blacks or cops, and refuse to shut down those who post it on your page. I am deleting you. That is stupid, immature and shows what you really think. You post memes with false facts and rhetoric rooted in racism not reality. Not comprehending that facts like statistics can be skewed to point in whatever direction you want someone to go. Deleted. You post things completely ignoring the sins and evils of the past - deleted. Not that we shouldn't get past them - but because you are being hypocritical in ignoring that the evils of the past are revisited upon the future in every country in the world and plays a part in today whether you want to admit it or not - deleted. You post one more " them thugs" comment yet your pictures have you posing in "thug" poses and "gang signs" - deleted. Stop emulating privately what you condemn publicly, You post send them back to Africa comments when we didn't ask to come to this country in the first place....You post why wont they assimilate when you openly ask no other race/nationality in this country to completely let go of their roots in order to function in America - You want us to forget our past so we can forget yours. Deleted. You try to play the divide and conquer game by posting crap and then pulling me aside and saying "i didn't mean you, but them" - deleted. And don't request to be my friend again. Not going to happen. Hoping and praying that this is the last I have to say on this insanity.